poppycostello

I thought I was done, Curtain closed and under the covers, done For the night and for the day, And yet here sits a ballad unwritten, Playing out on the organs of my body Like a wild composer, deranged, ADHD, cocaine, He won't let me rest 'til I give out my breath in words, Frozen and unchiselled, They are not beautiful. I sit here like a monkey on demand All day, every day for four weeks, Thirty days and one make this month Where I have sat and waited for you and Only you To light up my darkest days. You never showed; The moon illuminated my darkest fears And played them back to me by candlelight And still you never showed

I'm not done. You completed me, I looked down and you defeated me, Once upon a time, In a land far away, You belonged to A gypsy and I have no right to be Here And yet I am, Staring you down and making you believe In something that can never be. Hello, do you remember me? An easy smile, we slip back into what we could've been, Everything that I still see when I close my eyes And pretend to imagine that I can remember the taste of your lips As well as I do in my dreams. A boy who claims me asks me what I am doing at this precise moment in time, I whisper your name into the receiver and a chill runs down my spine. Sinking, si

Beautiful and spiky; that's what you called me, Wandering around the shoe department In Topshop on Oxford Street no less. Big high-heels, ten inches, studs and spikes, They hurt my hand, Left deep grooves from where I touched the spikes And I didn't regret holding them in my hands for one moment Because they were so beautiful. I wanted to own them But I couldn't afford the price, Nought but one big lump of regret woulda ensued And I'd like to think I've more common sense Than that. You told me you loved me And I let you touch me. And you weren't him And I was acutely aware of that throughout But it wasn't so bad. Confusing,

Actions not words, I'm waiting on twenty six days Until I'm borne from the ashes Officially. Once again. New town, new laws. Rules for thinking I know best this time And fooling myself that I've learnt a lesson. Nah. Take her down to the drop-down box And you'll be in for a surprise tonight. A grown-up reality and I don't think rum can fix this, I'm not sure if I'm lying or telling the truth or lying About trying to pretend that I mean what I say. Moreover, I'm likely to lie about lying And be honest only when brutal. Take my weak spots down. Yours are easy to suss, mine are sharper. Height. Weight. Appearance. Intelli

I don't. Recurrently, in my mind, that phrase. When he left me, over and over again - in the bathroom, on the floor, curled into a ball, Repeatedly. I don't, I don't. I don't know if I don't know if I don't understand or if I don't know what to do. I don't. Never a can't, Because I can. I can get over him and I can find reasons to smile and, At the very least, I can pretend. Rebound : an offer, accomodatory and obliging But I don't. I didn't when I could've and I wasn't sure if I should've, Either way I know I would've If morals weren't interchanged. At night, when I'm asking, what I'm doing, where I'm going. I don't, comes

Screw you, f**k you, All those things I did do And I have no way of reversing Ever, They stick with me, on me, Like a battle scar Whilst you do a victory run And take her home For the crowning glory. Things I never could do That she manages in her sleep, I'll never forget, Always regret, Never should've met you Or believed in a pretty face. I gave you everything I had and everything I could, Believed, stayed, tried and failed and picked myself up Time and again and tried again And again To be what you wanted. Never again. Not believing, Not trying, Not waiting on somebody to be anything other than nothing. No. I'm don

I'm going to wear massive white knickers everyday And only shave once a week, I'm going to eat Ben & Jerry's on Tuesday, Phish Food, And I'm damn well going to enjoy it. I'm going to unfriend all your little idiots on Facebook, I'm going to throw a party that I never have to go to one of yours again, I'm going to hit the town with my exes And friends I've neglected And soon I'm going to forget you ever existed. Well, sadly that's a lie. Simple name, coupled with the big F, it's never going to be that easy, Oh pun, another thing to bring on the humiliation tenfold, It's been a long time coming And you still didn't ask me to leave y

I need something to fall into place, If only I was the one who dealt these cards So the ace could've been hidden All these months, I need to know how to fall on my feet And get back up again. Harder, stronger, faster than before, The third generation, if you will. I need to remember how to live. I need something to fall into place, Sobbing at 2am past Day Zero just ain't cutting it And yet without my right arm, I feel paralysed. Phantom limb, the pain never leaves, I'll be like the guy in 127 hours and cut it off With a rusty knife and go on to claim the glory benefits that are surely waiting. I can't remember how to try. I n

The mosquitoes never bit me until this year, Blase, someone else's problem and a beautiful Idea to flaunt, Undesirable, Toxic blood, my favour, not yours, Isn't it a blessing to not open your blood to the world, Not to see it blossom into a flower Then heal and raise and scar And leave you remembering that something infiltrated something sacred? They took me three times this past week. As did you. Each one took me that one place farther away from Never being able to say I'm innocent and untouched By the two of you. I feel like I lose a part of myself everytime I change, This personality is new, I tried it on in the personalit

Clustered and cloistered into one small particular place and time, Emblazoned on my memory like a forest fire Destroying all that had been done before; Rewritten, Like a first, a final, a testimony and draft, Looking forever up into these eyes And never knowing when to stop. All that had been done and gone, Taken and defeated, Defeatable and weak, Going from strength to strength As evolution would have us believe. Maybe we're not going towards death but enlightenment Oh, the optimist would ever believe that you killed her pessimist, Darkness within light, A memory forgotten by half and treasured by the other; blessed half-life.